


Switching it up

by dicie



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gender Confusion, Other, Science fiction gender transition, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:07:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicie/pseuds/dicie
Summary: Lea makes a big change.
Kudos: 3





	Switching it up

It had only occurred to Lea as a way of getting out of having her period. She'd been dreading it. Even before her last one had stopped she'd dreaded its return the next month, and the month after. She whimpers, and presses down between her legs. Her cock does not obey. She thinks it's small, on the scale of these things, but she doesn't exactly have a lot of reference points with which to compare.

She tilts her hips in front of the mirror, causing her dick to wave back and forth. It's too sensitive, too hot. She'd known that it's common for a state of arousal to persist for some time, but she'd thought... she squeezes her eyes shut, runs her thumb along the top from the base to its tip. Her knees shudder, and she catches herself on the edge of her bed. She had thought she could take it in hand.

She swallows, and spreads her knees apart, trying to focus on her dick, standing to attention. It _is_ cute, she thinks, sort of. Its tip peeks out from the folds of foreskin, and she rolls it down, sucks in a breath at the pure sensation. Maybe she'd be having a better time if she'd spent more time masturbating before swapping out. Her girlfriend had said that she found wanking helped with cramps, but Lea had never had any success on her own, and she wasn't remotely ready to let Yasmin try to see if she could do better. The thought of Yasmin brings something like pain to Lea's dick. She hisses " _stop that_ " at it, and tries shoving it and her balls down to curve with the line of her body. It just makes the sensation worse.

She curls up on her side and hugs her knees, her dick distracting and hot and present between her belly and her legs. But it can stay like that, she thinks, if it's not going to behave.

She knows she should tell Yasmin what she's done. It's not fair to go changing her parts and not tell her, when there is the assumption that at _some_ point she'll get to touch them. Her girlfriend has been good about it, her being slow and inexperienced. Taking kisses, curling up with her and brushing her hair out of her face. _I've always been a terrible lesbian_ , Lea thinks, as she takes a peek at her faintly pulsing dick. She doesn't think she wants to put it _in_ Yasmin. Not unless Yasmin was really-- and she means _really_ \-- interested..

Her balls might be a better starting point, perhaps. Maybe. She hopes. She cups them, feels their weight against her palm, the way the skin is soft and smooth. She rubs her thumb down them, exploring their shape, how the sack is formed around the lumps.

It had seemed like such an _easy_ way out of everything. Give herself a dick and relevant accessories, never have to put up with the messiness and misery that comes from the parts she was saddled with at birth ever again. She'll admit she was perhaps a bit hasty, jumping in the deep end, but having a bulge in the crotch of her jeans... that was cute. A cute sort of a look. She's small and curvy, top heavy and just fine with that, though... a firmer line to her jaw, a touch of facial hair, perhaps. She giggles at the thought that her breasts kind of match her downstairs now, more lumps to bounce as she moves. She giggles again as she palms the lot, and tries to take the advice she'd received when trying to work her old equipment. She tries _not_ to focus on the finish, just enjoy the sensations as they come, let it all build naturally.

She can almost feel the swirls of her fingerprints as she moves them along the shaft of her dick. It's sensitive, and hard, but still flesh and blood, hot in her hand. It helps to remember it's just another part of herself, to remember that she went from the idea occurring to her to being able to think of nothing but how much better having a dick would be in the span of two days. Of how it grew and shifted out of what was there previously. Of how good it feels, how cute it is, even if it won't behave. Her breath catches as she pumps her hand over it.

Keeping her mind off coming works, and she erupts into a sticky mess. She giggles again looking at it, seeing the result and following relaxation of her cock. Not long after, she smoothes it down like she'd tried to before, and tucks comfortably, just like she'd hoped it would. She cleans up her mess, pattering to the bathroom and back, a little too pleased with the way it all hangs and swings as she meanders, naked, about the house. "You're so cute," she whispers to it, though it's also a little weird and wrinkly and red. But still cute. "So cute," she says, firmly.

*

Lea twists in front of her mirror again, trying to work out whether it's obvious her parts are different than they were, first in her underwear, and then in her jeans. She thinks that unless someone was particularly familiar with her crotch, they wouldn't be able to tell at all. She needs to buy new underwear with extra room for everything, but for the moment her current sets work fine, and at least keeps it all in place. She's not sure whether she's happy it's not obvious, with how the denim folds just about where it did before.

They're going to the beach in a week, or that's the plan, and she's not sure what she's going to do for that. But for now she grabs her keys and wallet, adjusts herself and leaves the house.

Yasmin is already chattering two seconds after she catches up with Lea and places a kiss on her cheek in greeting. Lea shoves her alarm down as her dick reacts to her adorable, wonderful girlfriend pressing up against her. She's going to have to tell her. Soon. She'll tell her soon. Just... maybe not today. But soon.

Yasmin waves her hand in front of Lea's face. "Hey, you, you in there?"

"I got a dick," she blurts. Okay. Maybe today after all. She's not good at this.

"Um," Yasmin says.

Lea agrees. Very um. "I just..." Lea's next words die in her throat. She wanted it. More than anything.

"Do you want to go home?"

Lea nods. She's holding in her emotions, but she can't possibly keep it up for long. They were supposed to go to a movie, but it will have to be another day. If they go at all. Mostly they were going to go together. She'd rather spend time with Yasmin at home anyway. Where there's no one thinking about her who doesn't love her.

Lea orders a ride, and they don't talk while it comes. They don't talk as they sit in the back seat. Lea hangs her head. She's going to get dumped. She can feel it. Yasmin isn't interested in men. And since Lea wanted a dick, _likes_ her dick, she probably is one, really. She wants the rest of it, too. The testosterone which comes with having testicles will change her voice, her build, even her face. She definitely won't be the girl that Yasmin asked out the year before.

She doesn't know what she is. A freak, for sure. Normal people don't get a dick on a whim. Normal people at least know their gender before they swap their junk.

She presses her hands down into her lap. It's an odd sort of tenderness to have external organs there. But it's reassuring, too. _At least if she dumps me I'll still have my balls!_ she thinks to herself hysterically.

They reach Lea's place and she fishes her keys out, somehow manages to work the lock. Yasmin sits her on the couch and disappears behind the divide to the kitchen. Tea solves every problem. And when she reappears with a mug in hand and passes it to Lea, that feels about right.

"I just wanted to," she says, not looking up from her tea. "I just... I really really wanted to." She hunches down into her shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Yasmin sits next to her, lowering herself carefully, like Lea might frighten and flee if she moves with any speed.

"How long have you wanted to?" Yasmin asks, because she's sensible, and nice, and wants to know how long Lea's been crazy and wanted to take the most extreme step right from the get go.

"A week," Lea whispers. She knows that makes it worse. It occurred to her on Tuesday. She'd done it on Thursday. What a psychopath.

Yasmin reaches up and pats her hair. She keeps it so short. She'd always claimed it was just an easy way of signaling she's into women. No straight girl keeps her hair that short. But it turns out she might be straight after all. She cringes away from Yasmin's hand. She's the worst girlfriend in the world.

Yasmin takes her hand back, cups her own mug with it instead. "And you really wanted it?" she prompts. She's not pushing for more than Lea knows she _has_ to tell her. Yasmin cares about her, so of course she wants to know why Lea went about dramatic body modification without proper thought.

"I wanted it _so_ much," she says. "It felt like it made sense," she tells the stray tea leaves that escaped into her mug from the teapot. "It probably doesn't."

Yasmin takes her time before she replies. She sips from her mug several times. How she manages when it's still mouth burning hot Lea will never understand. Eventually she says, "I think if it didn't make sense for you, you wouldn't have done it." She sips again. Swallows. "Do you like it?"

"So much." Lea's voice comes out a strangled rasp around the words. And she feels the dam break. "It's weird and stupid and funny looking but it's also sorta cute? And soft. I like it when it's soft. And it feels so _big_ when it's not. And balls are really weird? They move _all the time_ and it's like 'hey, what are you doing? Swinging there like that?' but they just _do,_ you know?" Yasmin does not have balls. She does not know. But she nods along anyway. Lea shifts in her seat. "I don't get why guys need to spread their legs on the bus all the time, it's like 'dude it's so not a big deal to just keep them shut, I manage _fine_ , you do _not_ need that much room."

Lea rambles on, and on. She forgets her tea, and it's cold by the time Yasmin takes it from her, insisting on making a fresh cup rather than letting Lea put it in the microwave.

"Would you like to show me?" Yasmin asks as she returns with Lea's new cup of tea.

Lea's shaking her head before she can start thinking of why, but her thoughts and mouth catch up quickly enough. "Not yet. It's... it's for me, right now?" She's asking for permission and confirmation. And perhaps begging for Yasmin not to hate her for this.

"Okay, as long as you need." Yasmin places a kiss on her temple. "Have you thought about pronouns?"

Lea swallows. Shakes her head again. Nothing is right. 'She' is probably wrong, but it's _easy_ and it's what she's used to. And if she keeps using 'she' then she won't feel the sting of strangers getting it wrong. "Ask again later?" she says, an embarrassing attempt at humour.

Yasmin smiles anyway. She's good like that. "Of course. Whatever you feel like."

Lea feels like such a dick.

**Author's Note:**

> After the end of this, Lea works out that ze/zir/zirs pronouns are what works for zir, and is going to keep plenty of zir current sexual characteristics, but that ze _really, really_ likes having a dick. (Ze worked that out in this fic, but like, it remains very true for zir.) And Yasmin is like "still into you, hun. pretty ballsy just jumping right in there. You've got hella BDE." along with a myriad of other mild innuendos. (She also agrees that it's a cute dick when she does eventually see it.)


End file.
